I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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