good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
