Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
