Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
