Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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