Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
