Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
