Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
