Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
