I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
