took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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