Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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