I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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