fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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