So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You dont lie about slip and slides
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
