So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
