She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
