did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
