its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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