wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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