I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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