Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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