You work out of a Hotel?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
