every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
