Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
