If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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