Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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