Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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