my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
