I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
