Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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