GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
