You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is Oprah even human
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
