I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Shame - the story of my life.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
