For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
