just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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