After last night, I could never be a politician.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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