then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
dude. I can hear the air.
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