Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
