I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
