All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
