kristin has been a bad kristin
someone owes me an orgasm
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
