Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
