just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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