dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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