Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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