I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
