this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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