I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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