u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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