i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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