dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
