he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
